We are including the Fifties and Sixties for our All in the Family edition of the Power Rankings as we look at the greatest TV bowlers of all time (if time stopped at about 1990 or so). These rankings are not necessarily based on pure skill talent, but on a combination of love of the game, commitment to the craft, and mastery of "bowling culture." The ultimate standard is, who would win if these people rolled 10 frames in an alley in my backyard in Pueblo, Colorado?
1) Ernest Borgnine: There can be none higher. As we discussed in our Celebrity Bowling episode, Borgnine IS bowling in our world. If Ernie didn't show up at all the matches on that show just due to a love of the game, we don't want to hear about it.
2) Hazel Burke: The eponymous 1960s sitcom established many times that Hazel was a championship-level bowler--almost to a ridiculous level sometimes until you realize she was a championship-level cook, cleaner, shopper, surrogate parent, and advice giver as well.
3) Earl Anthony: He was really good! He dominated the sport back when it was a real "thing" on network television.
4) Fred Flintstone/Barney Rubble: Hard not to rank these as a pair. The fact is, Fred earns major style points--Pete Weber may have gotten some of his showmanship from the Twinkletoes of 10-Pin--but his game is inconsistent, which might keep him from being ranked higher.
(I hope I didn't botch that Pete Weber reference.)
5) Ralph Kramden/Ed Norton: Similar to the previous entry. Hey, did you ever notice The Flintstones has a lot in common with The Honeymooners? Anyway, the quality of Ralph's bowling seems to fluctuate a bit, but he is an anchor on his team, willing to compete even when injured, and clearly sees the pastime as a lifestyle, not just a game.
6) Diane Chambers: Saved the day when Woody couldn't go by walking out out onto the lanes with nerves of steel in a key contest with Gary's Olde Towne Tavern. 'Nuff said.
7) Al Bundy: Yes, Peggy was the one who rolled a perfect game, but that happened in 1990.
8) Howard Sprague: When we see his methodical style in The Andy Griffith Show's "Howard the Bowler," he has only recently taken up bowling, or at least he has just started working on it. Yet he is able to jump in and replace a missing team member in a key confrontation and carry the night. When a freak occurrence interrupts the match, he then resumes his pursuit of a 300 game! Despite getting the yips, Howard shows overall mastery of the lanes in an almost Zen-like manner.
9) Laverne Difazio: One of Laverne & Shirley's earliest episodes, "Bowling for Razzberries," shows Laverne is someone who bowls a lot, is willing to use the sport as a way to settle disputes, and is confident enough in her game to teach/criticize the games of others.
10) Paul Drake: One of Perry Mason's oddest episodes is in its eighth season. "The Case of the Bullied Bowler" does not have Raymond Burr, who is replaced by Mike Connors as a vacationing lawyer visiting Paul and Della. Drake gives a cool bordering on pretentious (But it's bowling, so come on) speech about how to bowl before being interrupted. Connors' character upstages him at the alley at the end of the episode, but it could be a lucky shot. We know Paul Drake cares about and works on his form, though.
Also receiving votes:
Archie Bunker was considered, but he couldn't come through in the biggest game of his life and seemed to consider bowling as a means to an end more than a pursuit in itself.
Sam Franklin: It's tempting to pick partner Alice Nelson--After all, they both advance to the finals in the big tournament mentioned in the episode--but she thought a bowling ball was a ridiculous wedding gift, and Sam rightly pushed back. However, I get the sense Alice is the better bowler but always lets Sam win.
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