Dream Theater: Stone Cold Dennis Franz

Last night, I dreamed a disheveled (not necessarily a redundancy; he had been beaten) Dennis Franz, Mike, and I were in some abandoned warehouse. Franz--I am guessing NYPD Blue-era version--was manic after having freed himself from captivity.

He started raving about how they had gotten his friend, and now HE was gonna get THEM, starting with the other guy in the room with us. I have no idea who it was--someone I know? Someone Franz knows? TV's Mr. Belvedere, Christopher Hewitt?

Well, I am glad I don't know because Franz picked up a cinderblock and, "off camera," at least, smashed the other guy with it. What were Mike and I doing? We weren't podcasting, I can tell you that. I think Dennis--hey, at this point, we're on a first-name basis--saw our unease because he said to us, "They do it on TV; we can do it here."

Yes, that was the capper and the end of the dream.

They do it on TV; we can do it here.

Should The Tao of Franz be our new guiding principle?

Dream Theater: Felix is real?

This is gonna sound weird, but last night I had a dream that I was in a hotel, and I had to leave the room I was in to go downstairs a floor to find a water fountain. Then I had to get a handful of water--yes, a handful of water. I just knew this.

Why did I need the water? Simple: To go back upstairs into that original room and splash that water into the face of Tony Randall!

Well, I say Tony Randall, but I know that really it was Felix Unger. I know this because the reason I was getting the water to throw in his face was to prove a "fan theory" that Felix was in our universe. 

Don't ask me how Oscar Madison fit into this. Don't ask me anything else, really. In fact, I woke up before i could get back upstairs, which leaves me disappointed yet kinda glad I didn't ambush Felix with a couple palms full of tepid hotel fountain water (Do they even have standalone water fountains in hotel hallways anymore)?

Don't assume anything except that it was one weird dream!

Dream Theater: Arrested by Norman Fell

Last night I dreamed I was arrested by Norman Fell.

This wasn't Fell as Mr. Roper, mind you, but levelheaded law enforcement type Fell who appeared in shows like 87th Precinct, Dan August, and most recently for me, Murder, She Wrote.

I wish I could remember the details, but I know I was innocent (sure, that's what they all say), and that Fell himself was somewhat apologetic, but he had no choice. Also, my grandmother was outraged that a major national restaurant chain (I won't mention it because it has been excellent for me) false-advertised something. She was angry enough to take a big ad flyer and bring it in so she could point it out to Fell, who shrugged it off.

If I 'm not mistaken, a since-forgotten teenage girl scored a novelty hit shortly after Ocean's Eleven with "I Wanna Be Arrested by Norman Fell."

I wanna be arrested by Norman Fell

Just me and Norm in a little cell

He's the guy who makes jail time feel so swell

I wanna be arrested by Norman Fell

You know, I might be mistaken.