What We'd Like to See: Aloha Paradise

 I'll take, oh, let me see...every episode of this, please:

The great Gilmore Box YT channel posted this opening this week. I like that he describes it, with some diplomacy, perhaps, as "similar to Love Boat." Yes...similar, all right. Even the Steve Lawrence theme song sounds derivative...and I love it!

Believe it or not, this ABC anthology/comedy/drama lasted a mere 8 (of 13 produced) episodes. If you're concerned about the show ripping off Love Boat, maybe this will make you feel better: It's from Love Boat producers Aaron Spelling and Douglas Cramer! There's no index in Spelling's memoir A Prime Time Life, so the only reference to the show I can see is in his annotated filmography in the back, where he just says it was their attempt to do Love Boat at a Hawaiian resort.

Harry and Wally's Favorite Shows gives the series a measly half-star rating, calling it a "sappy effort" and noting Debbie Reynolds is "annoyingly chipper as manager of the resort." Well, Reynolds was no fan, either; according to Wikipedia, she said "it had the worst scripts ever," in a 1986 newspaper story talking about her guest appearance on a then-current episode of Hotel. 

ABC put this one at 9:00 Wednesdays in early 1981 against movies on CBS and the Diff'rent Strokes/Facts of Life combo on NBC, but it soon yanked it for socially relevant (and even shorter-lived) drama The American Dream.  By Summer, ABC had  added a Wednesday Night Movie to its lineup, and in September it debuted a new-look evening schedule featuring Greatest American Hero, which also debuted in Winter 1981; new Fall show The Fall Guy; and yet another Winter 1981 debut, Dynasty. 

As for Aloha Paradise, guest stars include Gene Rayburn, Batty winner Jessica Walter, Red Buttons, Joan Fontaine, and Bert Convy. CBS owns the show, so maybe someday if Paramount Plus has a Crackle-like revelation and starts emptying the vaults, we'll see it on there.

What We'd like to See/Happy birthday to the late Robert Forster

I admit I was late on the Robert Forster (1941-2019) bandwagon.  Like many, it took Jackie Brown to make me not only realize, "Hey, this guy's cool," (I hadn't seen MEDIUM Cool) but to want to see him in other stuff.  On the actor's birthday, I'm thinking about two rare, short-lived 1970s series I'd like to see.

Banyon is a Quinn Martin P.I. series with Forster working out of the Bradbury building in 1930s L.A. See, right there is all I need to know.  If it can't possibly live up to my expectations, well, it's got to be worth checking out, right?

Warner Archive has slowed down its output of rare TV on DVD, but it controls the former NBC series and could release it.  I assume there are issues with clearances preventing it.  I hope it's not just neglect.

Less tantalizing but still intriguing is Forster's 1974 Nakia, with the star as a New Mexico deputy sheriff who is--cue 1970s social relevance--Navajo and often conflicted between "modern" culture and his "traditional" culture. Why is this one less intriguing? Well, Harry and Wally's Favorite TV Shows isn't the final word on everything, but its entry on the series begins:

Nakia is preachy, strident, obvious, and outdated in its fervent condescension.

And it closes with:

Nakia tries real hard to be significant and deep. All it ends up doing is being superficial, trivializing the real efforts of Indians in the modern age.

Well, that does sound a bit like 1970s social relevance! I still want to see it, though. Some episodes are out there, and you can even find one on YouTube, but maybe Sony will find a way to put it out someday.

Tomorrow on Battle of the Network Shows...

Call this number on the telephone and get your subscription to ROLLing Stone

I remain unsuccessful in tracking down that Tom Selleck/National Review ad, but another favorite spot from my youth is on YouTube. It features Paul Shaffer, star of "A Year at the Top," as we discussed in a recent "What We'd Like to See."

Check out the advert below:

Shaffer is in top-notch "smarmy, sincere, both, or does it matter" mode.  There are two types of singing in this commercial: Paul's seemingly impromptu jingle at the end, which is great, and the Rolling Stone theme song that takes up much of this spot.  This song is horrible.

I saw this ad all the time back in the day, but I wasn't a subscriber. It's a good thing because not only does that song make me want to avoid signing up, but it is enough to make me want to cancel if I were a subscriber.

"I want to READ all there IS
about rock and roll"

Embarrassing. The way he sings "rock and roll" is cringe-inducing.

"Know about the people
who touch my soul"

Even worse. The overwrought "emotion" in the singing makes this instant appalling self-parody, as opposed to Shaffer's knowing self-parody.

Bless whoever is singing it because the guy is really trying to "rock out," but straining to rock out rarely brings positive results. It's one of the phoniest tunes I have ever heard, and it should have killed any cred RS had left after 20 years of publication.

I'm sure Shaffer knows how ridiculous it all sounds, but he doesn't care. His little half-assed rhyme at the end almost does the impossible: makes us forget about the other song.  It can't quite accomplish that.

On the bright side, it's 30 years later, and I remembered the Shaffer part, but I had totally forgotten the rest of it. So maybe all of you will get it out of your minds in the next couple decades or so.

Episode 2_5: Run, Joe, Run "Homecoming"

Loyal listener Amy recommended this Saturday-morning drama about an Army-trained German shepherd on the run for a crime he didn't commit! Kristy McNichol guests as a girl who takes in Joe against her father's wishes. Plus, "What We'd Like to See"!

Check out this episode!

Episode 8: In Search Of "Amelia Earhart" and "The Loch Ness Monster"

This week, we probably take a look at what might be the definitive 1970s docuseries In Search Of. Through diligent research, authoritative interviews, and on-site camerawork, host Leonard Nimoy and crew dig deep into the mysteries of Amelia Earhart and the Loch Ness Monster and come up with--well, you be the judge. In all probability, we might offer are own opinions. Also, "What We'd Like To See!"

Check out this episode!