Batty Awards Aftermath: Winners and Losers

We all know the actual winners but and losers, but what about the semi-actual winners and losers--those hidden victors and vanquished who may not be as obvious to the untrained eye? We surveyed a group of anonymous seasoned Batty observers to compile the following list. This information may be useful to those looking to handicap next season's awards show. I understand early lines are already in development. If you find it ridiculous that a show as...freewheeling as the Batty Awards can earn gambling action, well, just remember that the same people take bets on pastimes as ludicrous as dog shows, WWE events and, perhaps silliest of all, NFL games.

WINNER: Three's Company: It lost to Taxi for Outstanding Series but otherwise cleaned up, with only Stanley Roper missing out for best eyebrows--and even that could be spun as a victory of sorts for his lovable loser persona. The dominant performance is a thumb to the eye (or, apropos for this series, a knee to the groin) to those who call for BOTNS to cover more highbrow material like In Search Of.

LOSER: Eight Is Enough: Forecasted as a big winner due to the hype it received throughout the season, the family dramedy settled for a Best Song win.

WINNER: Mustaches:  Batty deliberation by Rick and Mike prove it is again n up year for the 'stache, which traditionally holds dominion over beards on BOTNS.

LOSER: The economist from The Tomorrow Show:  Not only did he lose Biggest Dope, he wasn't even nominated for Outstanding Facial Hair. Even worse, he reportedly panicked by selling and rebuying during the stock market declines last week and lost thousands of dollars.

WINNER: Professional wrestling: Is it a sport or not? Who cares when it is legitimized by 3 Batty nominations and one win?

LOSER: Bowling: The biggest star in Celebrity Bowling was Ernie Borgnine, who wasn't even allowed to speak on camera despite sitting in the front row and watching the action. Months later, and we still don't fully understand the "best ball" rules. One can't help but imagine Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura would have clarified them for  the viewing audience.

WINNER: Ricky Schroeder: Losing twice in a row in the same category led to whispers calling him the Susan Lucci of the Battys, which, come to think of it, probably still infuriates him less than being called "Ricky" did in the Nineties.

LOSER: Human element--perhaps even humanity's precarious dominion over this very planet: The Random Number Generator is so effective at determining Batty Awards, many are wondering if it might choose all awards next year, and if so, what is stopping it from recording the entire podcast by itself? That presents an obvious slippery slope to oblivion for humankind.

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Batty Awards Season 3 Recap: Complete List of Nominees and Winners

Another Batty Awards show is in the books, and if you'd like a handy list of the nominees and winners, you have come to the right place. Please listen to the episode to hear more!

Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks to our listeners for your support! Keep coming back for Batty aftermath coverage, news about Season 4, and more surprises!

BIGGEST DOPE

Bobby Sherman (Love Boat)

Doug's Mom's Boyfriend (Knight Rider)

The Economist (The Tomorrow Show)

Mr. Furley (Three's Company)

Batty Winner: Ralph Furley

 

 

BIGGEST EXASPERATION

DVP AKA Dick Van Patten (Eight Is Enough)

Vince McMahon (Saturday Night's Main Event)

Mr. Bear (The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas)

Judd Hirsch (Taxi)

Batty Winner: Judd Hirsch

 

 

BEST SONG

"TV Eye" (performed by Iggy Pop, Tomorrow Show)

"Sola" (performed by Abby Bradford, Eight Is Enough)

"Eight Is Enough" (performed by David Bradford, Eight Is Enough)

"Where Can I Find Christmas" (Soundtrack of The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas)

 

Batty Winner: "Eight Is Enough"

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A YOUTH

Adam Rich (Eight Is Enough)

Meeno Peluce (Voyagers)

 Ricky Schroeder (Tomorrow Show)

The Wonder Twins (Super Friends)

Batty Winner: Meeno Peluce

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A NON-HUMAN

Ted E. Bear (The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas)

KITT (Knight Rider)

Dictor (Super Friends)

Superman (Super Friends)

Batty Winner: KITT

 

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE AS ONESELF

Tom Snyder (Tomorrow Show)

Dorothy Greenpepper (Tomorrow Show)

Jed Allan (Celebrity Bowling)

Ernest Borgnine (Celebrity Bowling)

Batty Winner: Tom Snyder

 

 

BIGGEST HEEL

Waldo Linden (Love Boat)

The Secret Four (Super Friends)

Jesse "the Body" Ventura (Saturday Night's Main Event)

Harmon (Medical Center)

Batty Winner: Jesse Ventura

 

OUTSTANDING EYEBROWS

Tom Snyder (Tomorrow Show)

Norman Fell (Three's Company)

Harmon (Medical Center)

Christopher Lloyd (Taxi)

Batty Winner: Tom Snyder (via Random Number Generator, #1,350)

 

OUTSTANDING FACIAL HAIR

Isaac (Love Boat)

Hillbilly Jim (Saturday Night's Main Event)

Matthew Peele (Sandbaggers)

Santa Clause (The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas)

Batty Winner: Isaac

 

OUTSTANDING HEAD OF HAIR (FEMALE)

Priscilla Barnes (Love Boat)

Dianne Kay (Eight is Enough)

Wonder Woman (Super Friends)

Suzanne Somers (Three's Company)

Batty Winner: Suzanne Somers

 

 

OUTSTANDING HEAD OF HAIR (MALE)

David Hasselhoff (Knight Rider)

Marjoe Gortner (Medical Center)

Isaac (Love Boat)

Jon-Erik Hexum (Voyagers)

Batty Winner: Jon-Erik Hexum (Random Number Generator, #2,377,019)

 

 

OUTSTANDING MALE PERFORMANCE

Roy Marsden (Sandbaggers)

John Ritter (Three's Company)

Dick Van Patten (Eight Is Enough)

Danny DeVito (Taxi)

Batty Winner: John Ritter

 

 

OUTSTANDING FEMALE PERFORMANCE

Meredith Baxter (Medical Center)

Joyce Dewitt (Three's Company)

Jana Sheldon (Sandbaggers)

Leonore Kasdorf (Knight Rider)

Batty Winner: Joyce Dewitt

 

OUTSTANDING THEME SONG (All eligible)

Batty Winner: Theme from Love Boat

 

 

OUTSTANDING SINGLE EPISODE (All eligible)

 

Batty Winner: Three's Company, "Jack's Double Trouble"

 

 

OUTSTANDING SERIES (All eligible)

 

Batty Winner: Taxi



BATTY Awards III: BATTYs at Sea

ALL ABOARD THE PACIFIC PRINCESS FOR THE SEASON 3 BATTLE OF THE NETWORK SHOWS BATTY AWARDS…AT SEA! YOUR BARTENDER ISAAC WILL BE MIXING COLORTINIS ALL NIGHT, SO SIT BACK AND LAUGH AT THE COMEDY STYLINGS OF MERRIL STUBING! RELIVE THE BEST OF THE “EIGHT IS ENOUGH” TALENT SHOW, LOVINGLY RE-CREATED BY OUR CRACK RESEARCH TEAM! GROOVE TO A SPECIAL DUET BY MICHAEL KNIGHT AND KITT…ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE GERMAN! ALL THIS PLUS NEW AWARDS CATEGORIES, THE RETURN OF FAVORITES LIKE BEST SHOW, BEST EPISODE, AND BEST FACIAL HAIR, AND DON’T FORGET THE ROBERT PINE GENIUS AWARD! NEXT!

Check out this episode!

Tomorrow on Battle of the Network Shows...

THE SEASON 3 BATTY AWARDS!

The BATTY Awards III Teaser

With anticipation running high for the season 3 BATTY Awards, we present this special teaser. Hear the Outstanding Eyebrows category before anyone else and be sure to return next Thursday for the full extravaganza!

Check out this episode!

Tomorrow on Battle of the Network Shows...

Season 3 BATTY Awards Teaser!