Wednesday, February 28, 2018
Monday, February 26, 2018
Marley (1907-1984) had a distinguished acting career, but it can be argued that his greatest achievement is vying for Biggest Heel AND Best Eyebrows in the same Batty competition. Congratulations to
Thursday, February 22, 2018
I investigated some of the rumors surrounding the discussion and also took a step back to examine some of the notable "snubs" perpetrated by the co-hosts, who determined the award winners; and the blue ribbon panel, which determined the nominees. I like to think that the fact that one of those co-hosts is the one doing the investigating is just part of the Batty charm.
Today let's look at the so-called "snubs" the nominating committee inflicted on some of the stars of Season 3. First, let me say that the panel has a thankless job each season, and of course it's a BLUE RIBBON panel, which is prima facie evidence of its credibility. Some observers raised a few eyebrows this time out, though, after seeing the nominees.
There is discussion that the committee underserves women and minorities each year, but I think such criticism overlooks the basic fact of the time period and specific shows covered. One thing I do wonder, though: Does the Batty Awards have a youth problem? The Outstanding Peformance by a Youth category is one of the traditional favorites, but superstar Ricky Schroeder has lost twice in a row and, perhaps more important, where are the youths in the other categories? Adam Rich and OY winner Meeno Peluce were conspicuous by their absence in the Outstanding Head of Hair category despite being praised for their follicles during the show. And Mike and Rick (OK, Mike and ME) admit that Voyagers is built around Peluce, yet who is nominated for Outstanding Male Performance? The much older Jon-Erik Hexum. I mean, that guy was in his twenties. There may be some reverse ageism at work in the process.
In fact, Gleek, the beloved monkey pet of the Wonder Twins, was agitated on the Batty Awards' host cruise ship, reportedly due to being left out of the Outstanding Non-Human category AND the Outstanding Youth category. Granted, no one is really sure how old Gleek is, but based on his behavior, you can kind of assume he's pretty childish. I'm hesitant to report this, but several credible sources report seeing Gleek fling an indertimante substance overboard in a fit of anger during the ceremony. I won't name the substance, but the word "fling" isn't used with a lot of different materials.
Friends of the late Bobby "the Brain" Heenan criticized his exclusion from the Biggest Heel category, noting he is often called one of the best heels in professional wrestling history. I feel this is overblown considering the specific episode discussed on the podcast, one in which Heenan's management of the likes of Big John Studd paled in comparison to Jesse Ventura comparing a wedding kiss to two carp fighting over a piece of corn.
Relatives of two-time nominee "Harmon" from Medical Center expressed delight that the man was recognized...and dismay that his actual name wasn't used. I can rectify that rare oversight by the Blue Ribbon panel here. The actor who plays Harmon is...is...is...
We promise to find that information and print it in a future post.
Some may find it curious that Love Boat, despite the palpable affection for it during the ceremony, received no individual acting awards (though Ted Lange as Isaac did quite well). Batty experts believe the high wattage of guest stars like Vicki Lawrence and Scatman Carothers tends to overshadow even the likes of Bernie Kopell.
We will continue to explore the scuttlebutt surrounding the Battys and report in future posts. Feel free to share your own outrage in the comments.
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
WINNER: Three's Company: It lost to Taxi for Outstanding Series but otherwise cleaned up, with only Stanley Roper missing out for best eyebrows--and even that could be spun as a victory of sorts for his lovable loser persona. The dominant performance is a thumb to the eye (or, apropos for this series, a knee to the groin) to those who call for BOTNS to cover more highbrow material like In Search Of.
LOSER: Eight Is Enough: Forecasted as a big winner due to the hype it received throughout the season, the family dramedy settled for a Best Song win.
WINNER: Mustaches: Batty deliberation by Rick and Mike prove it is again n up year for the 'stache, which traditionally holds dominion over beards on BOTNS.
LOSER: The economist from The Tomorrow Show: Not only did he lose Biggest Dope, he wasn't even nominated for Outstanding Facial Hair. Even worse, he reportedly panicked by selling and rebuying during the stock market declines last week and lost thousands of dollars.
WINNER: Professional wrestling: Is it a sport or not? Who cares when it is legitimized by 3 Batty nominations and one win?
LOSER: Bowling: The biggest star in Celebrity Bowling was Ernie Borgnine, who wasn't even allowed to speak on camera despite sitting in the front row and watching the action. Months later, and we still don't fully understand the "best ball" rules. One can't help but imagine Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura would have clarified them for the viewing audience.
WINNER: Ricky Schroeder: Losing twice in a row in the same category led to whispers calling him the Susan Lucci of the Battys, which, come to think of it, probably still infuriates him less than being called "Ricky" did in the Nineties.
LOSER: Human element--perhaps even humanity's precarious dominion over this very planet: The Random Number Generator is so effective at determining Batty Awards, many are wondering if it might choose all awards next year, and if so, what is stopping it from recording the entire podcast by itself? That presents an obvious slippery slope to oblivion for humankind.
Saturday, February 17, 2018
Friday, February 16, 2018
Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks to our listeners for your support! Keep coming back for Batty aftermath coverage, news about Season 4, and more surprises!
Thursday, February 15, 2018
ALL ABOARD THE PACIFIC PRINCESS FOR THE SEASON 3 BATTLE OF THE NETWORK SHOWS BATTY AWARDS…AT SEA! YOUR BARTENDER ISAAC WILL BE MIXING COLORTINIS ALL NIGHT, SO SIT BACK AND LAUGH AT THE COMEDY STYLINGS OF MERRIL STUBING! RELIVE THE BEST OF THE “EIGHT IS ENOUGH” TALENT SHOW, LOVINGLY RE-CREATED BY OUR CRACK RESEARCH TEAM! GROOVE TO A SPECIAL DUET BY MICHAEL KNIGHT AND KITT…ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE GERMAN! ALL THIS PLUS NEW AWARDS CATEGORIES, THE RETURN OF FAVORITES LIKE BEST SHOW, BEST EPISODE, AND BEST FACIAL HAIR, AND DON’T FORGET THE ROBERT PINE GENIUS AWARD! NEXT!
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Thursday, February 8, 2018
With anticipation running high for the season 3 BATTY Awards, we present this special teaser. Hear the Outstanding Eyebrows category before anyone else and be sure to return next Thursday for the full extravaganza!