Batty chatter: What I'm hearing

We're smack in the middle of Batty season, and I am consulting with some of our favorite newshounds to get the inside scoop. We're talking people like Rona Barrett, Lou Grant, and Hector Ramirez!

It's time to empty out the notebook and share some of the gossip and rumors that are swirling around this year's Batty Awards. Please remember that this is all as yet unsubstantiated and should not be seen as verified reporting.

We're hearing that Robert Conrad is lobbying for a Batty nomination despite not appearing in Season 9...and also being dead for nearly two years...Multiple venues lobbied for the prestigious honor of hosting the ceremony, but word has not leaked out yet. Word is multiple tangible arenas are frustrated with having to compete with intangible ones like Season 5's astral plane...

Chatter is that as usual the Outstanding Male category will be loaded this time out...Look for a new twist on a familiar category...Several categories have been dropped from the Season 8 list, including, I am sad to report, Outstanding Rick and Outstanding Mike. Hey, maybe those ones could have stuck around a bit!

I'm told Vic Tayback's representation had to be talked out of a scheme to promote him for Outstanding Male by dropping chili out of an airplane...Folks speculating about the possibility that a Genius winner--OG Robert Pine--could be in contention for a competitive batty for his role in The Master...

Tayback's costar Linda Lavin, rumor has it, is asking for a hefty fee to show up at the ceremony and sing. She charges double to show up and not sing...Longtime Batty observers are closely watching how The Munsters, an older show linked to BOTNS through Mini-Munsters, is treated. "If series and performers from that era are eligible, that might crowd out your Holmes & Yoyos," said one industry vet. Has she SEEN the Facebook group?

Fear not dreaded supply chain issues, folks, because word is the BOTNS logistics team stocked up on random number generators many months ago...Any concern over the integrity of the listener-voted awards is unfounded, says one person familiar with the process. "Tamper with the results? We almost forgot to put up the polls," he said...

Due to the long gap between Battys, producers are reportedly mulling how to handle a long list of names for the In Memoriam segment. It's believed that one suggestion, to read the names like John Moschitta, was only a jest and not a serious proposal...